The Names of It

First, I'm sorry I've neglected you, lovely reader, with my absence. You're the apple of my eye and I promise never to do it again.

Now, last week was beyond weird, strange, boring, frustrating, and full of a lot of nothing. To be honest, I had some of the worst PMS and was working on edits. For the record:

PMS + edits = a bitch about words

I then cried to my sister (who lives 600 miles away) through private message about my woes and "Aunt Flow," and as a way to make myself feel better, started trash talking Flow and calling her evil names. Many messages later, there was quite an impressive collection of disgusting and vulgar nicknames for ye ol' period and I was feeling a million times happier.


Even now when I look back over our list I start laughing so hard tears come to my eyes. They are some of the funniest, most awful names, but the measure of how much my sister indulges cheers me is so worth any gross out factor.

Below follows a few samples from our sick little list, our Names of It, just in case you need some cheering up yourself and aren't easily offended.

Don't read it if you're:
1.) a dude who shies away from such female matters [i.e. my husband], or
2.) a chick with finer tastes who doesn't like to acknowledge "things" go on "down there."

Thanks for reading!

Shark week
Naughty trousers
Rosy Underpants
The scarlet let-her (do whatever she wants)
The grimy centerpiece
Taking the red eye flight to grumpville
Red snapper
The rotten fruit basket
Devil's leavin's
Liquid death
Red witch of vagville
The dirty spitball
Drooly guts