Sometimes you get into ruts of who people think you are, who you think you are, and the perception of you from people who barely know you. Most of my life I've been seen as witty. I hated this for a long time until I realized how to use that sharp tongue to my advantage.
I've also been seen as serious. I was a serious child. Today I've found ways to bridge the gap between that wit, which is hilarious at times, to serious, which is highly functional in a bazillion ways.
Also, I didn't write much as a child, but now writing is my passion and career as an adult. Before I could pass myself off as a writer to friends and family, however, I had to decide to be just that. I had to make the choice to call myself a writer. I had to be someone else to everyone I knew so they would finally see me that way.
Being someone else means releasing the old stereotype of you and embracing that element you want to be.
In my stories, most of the time, if I don't include this character, I think of her. She's a bohemian gypsy with prophesy. She probably wears lots of purple and brown skirts and clinky jewelry. She's always there guiding me. She helps make choices with me. Call her a muse if you want, but when I kept brushing her off, not calling myself a writer, she kept coming back to the surface story after story.
Before I gave her the time of day, I thought I just wrote some things, some bad short stories, some good poetry, but I wasn't a "writer." And, to be honest, for as long as I thought that, no one else thought I was a "writer" either.
You cannot be afraid to be the someone else you wish to be.
I am a writer. Period. That is my stance and not everyone will "get" that. Even today, some people in my life still don't understand me or this process, but every now and then someone, family or friend, will make a statement that tells me they have owned the idea that this is who I am. Because I made the leap to be the someone else, they now see it as fact.
You shouldn't fear the creative element inside of you. Ridicule. Doubt. Uncertainty. You're going to experience those anyway, but at least you can enter each day with a tag on your shirt that reads, "Hello, I Am An Artist."
When I was a teenager, I used to write a lot of poetry. Then, in my early 20's, I felt that writing meant that my depression was coming back, so I didn't write at all. That to let go and lose myself to my muse meant that I must be going through another bought of darkness. But after three NaNoWriMos and having one poem published, I see that it isn't awful, evil, or wrong. It is me.
ReplyDeleteThat was a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks, Amy. I'm glad you found your way out of the darkness to writing whenever you feel like it. I had a similar experience with thinking writing meant living in that darkness and came to the same conclusion.
ReplyDeleteLove this post because I am living my someone else change now. I have had myself in a horrible box for more years than I care to count and in the past 2-3 years a completely different woman has finally fought my way out of that box of pure crap. Great post!
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